Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Thread Contributor: mahbucketPizza, a poem by MahBucket
#1
Baked it a hot oven,
Untainted and delicious,
Sauced with fresh tomatoes,
Harmonious and beautiful.

Delicious,
Incredible,
Delightful.

Never have I been,
In love with crust this thin,
Never have I seen,
Every slice cut this clean.

Everything was perfect,
Lovely and scrumptious,
Everything was beautiful,
Virtuous and Graceful,
Everything was amazing,
Now I must go home.
Reply
#2
Gonna be honest, this poem is like a 4/10 at best.  lrn2meter
I don't want to disappoint you
Reply
#3
Popcorn897 Wrote:Gonna be honest, this poem is like a 4/10 at best.  lrn2meter
I separated the verses based on how I felt the pizza tasted.
Reply
#4
Popcorn897 Wrote:lrn2meter

oh, pizza pizza pizza, this pizzas just for me
a pepperoni pizza, eat a slice or three
whats better than a pizza? nothing can compete
you lookin at my pizza? ill gouge ur eyes for free
Reply
#5
Roundel Wrote:
Popcorn897 Wrote:lrn2meter
whats better than a pizza? nothing can compete
try again
I don't want to disappoint you
Reply
#6
Popcorn897 Wrote:
Roundel Wrote:
Popcorn897 Wrote:lrn2meter
whats better than a pizza? nothing can compete
try again
the meter is right tho
Reply
#7
Roundel Wrote:
Popcorn897 Wrote:
Roundel Wrote:
Popcorn897 Wrote:lrn2meter
whats better than a pizza? nothing can compete
try again
the meter is right tho
only if you say "oh nothing can compete"

I've been reading this poem aloud for like 15 minutes. If the meter isn't wrong then you have a pass to fuck my asshole raw and call me a dumbass
I don't want to disappoint you
Reply
#8
Popcorn897 Wrote:
Roundel Wrote:
Popcorn897 Wrote:
Roundel Wrote:
Popcorn897 Wrote:lrn2meter
whats better than a pizza? nothing can compete
try again
the meter is right tho
only if you say "oh nothing can compete"

I've been reading this poem aloud for like 15 minutes. If the meter isn't wrong then you have a pass to fuck my asshole raw and call me a dumbass

im like 99% sure its right, what if u wrote it down and marked it
Reply
#9
I just wanted to make a stupid first letter of each line joke why are you nerds arguing about poem structure or whatever
Reply
#10
mahbucket Wrote:I just wanted to make a stupid first letter of each line joke why are you nerds arguing about poem structure or whatever
oh fuck. I got got

+1 you stupid faggot
I don't want to disappoint you
Reply
#11
As someone who has ran a pizza shop for the past year, I'd just like to point out the technical inaccuracies in this poem, quite a few I noticed actually.

Let's confront this with a simple breakdown:

Baked it a hot oven,
Problem one right here, I don't think "hot" could really be an appropriate word. At 525 degrees Fahrenheit standard, "blistering", "scorching", or prehaps "thermonuclear" would probably have been more accurate adjectives to describe the oven.

Untainted and delicious,
Assuming the pizza is untainted is another big mistake. It's very possible that leftover residue from previous pizzas may have contaminated this particular pie into a pretty precarious position. Especially if you're operating on a gluten free crust (which I will elaborate later on, as that right there is a whole other topic you've dishonored), which are EXTREMELY easy to taint. By using the wrong pizza peel, screen, cutter, or ladle you could very easily taint this pizza, so calling it "untainted" it assuming far too much.

Sauced with fresh tomatoes,
Amateur mistake right here, but not the first time I've seen it. First off, some pizzas aren't even sauced at all. Many people prefer a brushed on olive oil base to substitute for your standard vine-ripened tomato pizza sauce, so you're margining out a huge percentage of society with this ridiculous claim that all pizzas will be "sauced".

You also mention fresh tomatoes, which is exhibiting frankly disgusting behavior towards the other, lesser known (but not of less importance) member of the tomato family: the sun dried tomato. By using such a discriminating adjective you've all but ruled out the possibility of having a sun-dried tomato pizza, or if God allows it, perhaps a plethora of both sun dried AND fresh tomatoes.

Never have I been,
In love with crust this thin,

Are we assuming that every pizza crust is thin? What a gregarious claim. There are so many different types of crusts, like the Gluten Free for example mentioned above. The most common crust isn't even thin; it's the hand-tossed traditional crust served at most pizza joints you'll find in your local city. And even on the subject of solely thin crusts, are we talking a standard non-buttermilk thin crust or perhaps a crispier, more cracker-like New York skinny crust with about a 1" crust border?

Never have I seen,
Every slice cut this clean.

Wish you would have elaborated on this one a bit more. Are we doing a standard 8 cut pizza, or is it double cut? How clean is the cut, are you assuming we're using proper cutters for each pizza and that if the previously cut pizza was vegan that the cutter was cleaned off before use? Are you using the proper cutting technique by inching the cut to ensure the pizza, if vegan, is not compromised? Are you doing the rarely fabled 12 cut? Or perhaps the Chic-cut (Chicago) into squares? Please elaborate.

Thank you
Reply
#12
To answer the question you asked me in the other thread mustyoshi, yes, I still work at the pizza place ._.
Reply
#13
Dartz Wrote:As someone who has ran a pizza shop for the past year, I'd just like to point out the technical inaccuracies in this poem, quite a few I noticed actually.

Let's confront this with a simple breakdown:

Baked it a hot oven,
Problem one right here, I don't think "hot" could really be an appropriate word. At 525 degrees Fahrenheit standard, "blistering", "scorching", or prehaps "thermonuclear" would probably have been more accurate adjectives to describe the oven.

Untainted and delicious,
Assuming the pizza is untainted is another big mistake. It's very possible that leftover residue from previous pizzas may have contaminated this particular pie into a pretty precarious position. Especially if you're operating on a gluten free crust (which I will elaborate later on, as that right there is a whole other topic you've dishonored), which are EXTREMELY easy to taint. By using the wrong pizza peel, screen, cutter, or ladle you could very easily taint this pizza, so calling it "untainted" it assuming far too much.

Sauced with fresh tomatoes,
Amateur mistake right here, but not the first time I've seen it. First off, some pizzas aren't even sauced at all. Many people prefer a brushed on olive oil base to substitute for your standard vine-ripened tomato pizza sauce, so you're margining out a huge percentage of society with this ridiculous claim that all pizzas will be "sauced".

You also mention fresh tomatoes, which is exhibiting frankly disgusting behavior towards the other, lesser known (but not of less importance) member of the tomato family: the sun dried tomato. By using such a discriminating adjective you've all but ruled out the possibility of having a sun-dried tomato pizza, or if God allows it, perhaps a plethora of both sun dried AND fresh tomatoes.

Never have I been,
In love with crust this thin,

Are we assuming that every pizza crust is thin? What a gregarious claim. There are so many different types of crusts, like the Gluten Free for example mentioned above. The most common crust isn't even thin; it's the hand-tossed traditional crust served at most pizza joints you'll find in your local city. And even on the subject of solely thin crusts, are we talking a standard non-buttermilk thin crust or perhaps a crispier, more cracker-like New York skinny crust with about a 1" crust border?

Never have I seen,
Every slice cut this clean.

Wish you would have elaborated on this one a bit more. Are we doing a standard 8 cut pizza, or is it double cut? How clean is the cut, are you assuming we're using proper cutters for each pizza and that if the previously cut pizza was vegan that the cutter was cleaned off before use? Are you using the proper cutting technique by inching the cut to ensure the pizza, if vegan, is not compromised? Are you doing the rarely fabled 12 cut? Or perhaps the Chic-cut (Chicago) into squares? Please elaborate.

Thank you

I'd let u taint my pizza
Reply
#14
Dartz Wrote:As someone who has ran a pizza shop for the past year, I'd just like to point out the technical inaccuracies in this poem, quite a few I noticed actually.

Let's confront this with a simple breakdown:

Baked it a hot oven,
Problem one right here, I don't think "hot" could really be an appropriate word. At 525 degrees Fahrenheit standard, "blistering", "scorching", or prehaps "thermonuclear" would probably have been more accurate adjectives to describe the oven.

Untainted and delicious,
Assuming the pizza is untainted is another big mistake. It's very possible that leftover residue from previous pizzas may have contaminated this particular pie into a pretty precarious position. Especially if you're operating on a gluten free crust (which I will elaborate later on, as that right there is a whole other topic you've dishonored), which are EXTREMELY easy to taint. By using the wrong pizza peel, screen, cutter, or ladle you could very easily taint this pizza, so calling it "untainted" it assuming far too much.

Sauced with fresh tomatoes,
Amateur mistake right here, but not the first time I've seen it. First off, some pizzas aren't even sauced at all. Many people prefer a brushed on olive oil base to substitute for your standard vine-ripened tomato pizza sauce, so you're margining out a huge percentage of society with this ridiculous claim that all pizzas will be "sauced".

You also mention fresh tomatoes, which is exhibiting frankly disgusting behavior towards the other, lesser known (but not of less importance) member of the tomato family: the sun dried tomato. By using such a discriminating adjective you've all but ruled out the possibility of having a sun-dried tomato pizza, or if God allows it, perhaps a plethora of both sun dried AND fresh tomatoes.

Never have I been,
In love with crust this thin,

Are we assuming that every pizza crust is thin? What a gregarious claim. There are so many different types of crusts, like the Gluten Free for example mentioned above. The most common crust isn't even thin; it's the hand-tossed traditional crust served at most pizza joints you'll find in your local city. And even on the subject of solely thin crusts, are we talking a standard non-buttermilk thin crust or perhaps a crispier, more cracker-like New York skinny crust with about a 1" crust border?

Never have I seen,
Every slice cut this clean.

Wish you would have elaborated on this one a bit more. Are we doing a standard 8 cut pizza, or is it double cut? How clean is the cut, are you assuming we're using proper cutters for each pizza and that if the previously cut pizza was vegan that the cutter was cleaned off before use? Are you using the proper cutting technique by inching the cut to ensure the pizza, if vegan, is not compromised? Are you doing the rarely fabled 12 cut? Or perhaps the Chic-cut (Chicago) into squares? Please elaborate.

Thank you
How long did it take to write this holy shit dude
Reply
#15
+wanked for pizza
[Image: 929bfaccc0e130bd8fdb925412a227f2.png]
Reply
#16
Dartz Wrote:To answer the question you asked me in the other thread mustyoshi, yes, I still work at the pizza place ._.
[glow=yellow,2,300][shadow=yellow,left]brozen as Someone whose Worked in a pizza Place before..... I got Madd Respeck for you.. That shet is Asss[/shadow][/glow]
Reply
#17
Dartz Wrote:To answer the question you asked me in the other thread mustyoshi, yes, I still work at the pizza place ._.

make me a pizza
[Image: 929bfaccc0e130bd8fdb925412a227f2.png]
Reply


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)